It's All About ME ME ME!

Seriously. Rivergirl and Trauma: The Drama....you gals both know how much I hate these things and how many times I've squirmed out of doing them.

But you are lucky today because guess what!? I work in the MOST productive office in the world and yet I can actually make some time for this (quit yer laughing Lisa & Beck ~ Fart Slaves!).

What the frig is a meme anyways?

meme (mēm) Pronunciation Key
n. A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

Alrighty then. So I repeat...........What the frig is a meme anyways?

No clue. But I'll do it anyways:

What are your top 3 favorite foods?

That shit changes all the time. But in general I love sushi. And sometimes cereal is really good. Oh and hellooooo KETCHUP CHIPS! I don't fricken know. Don't you know taste buds change every 4 years? I could go on and on and on. I just love food. I mean....hello....look at my ass!

What was the last book you read and would you recommend it?

I'm so glad you asked this. Because I actually read a book not too long ago. (I generally hate reading. SUE ME!) But I liked this book a lot. It's called "The Rescue" by Nicholas Sparks. I believe he wrote "Message in a Bottle" and "The Horse Whisperer". Anyhow. The book had the emotion I needed at the time I read it. Nuff said.

What are your top 3 favorite places?

OH lordy. Here we go. Another hard question. I like being on my bed. My bed is the bomb. I could take this into the dirty realm but I wont. I love the beach, I love the mountains and I love any place that makes me feel happy.

What was the last lie you told?

Oh man. I lie so much I don't even know anymore.

What are your favorite 3 sports (to watch or participate in)?

I love hitting people in the head. Whether it's kicking them or punching them or kneeing them. I haven't been able to do that a lot lately (notice how I said "lately") so the stress of it has transferred to my blog (lucky you). So...that would mean Mixed Martial Arts & Muay Thai Kickboxing. As for watching, a good 'ol live Vancouver Canucks hockey game will keep me interested too.

What was the last movie you watched and would you recommend it?

I saw "10,000 B.C" I liked it and I would recommend it. I think I have to watch it again though. I missed a lot. My brain wanders.....

List 3 things you can see outside of the nearest window.

1) A cement wall. It turns me on.
2) Trees. Thank god ... at least there is some nature.
3) Those frickin steel rods that stick out of the cement wall....in hopes that the people will one day have enough money to finish the wall and build a bigger better whatever it is they are building.

Where was the last place you went?

In the toilet. One time at band camp when we were drinking in the car I had to go so bad that I went ..... (we're just not THAT close. i can't finish the story. sorry.....and um, lucky you right! cuz i'm just not that into you.....oh um oooops, wrong topic.)

What are your top 3 favorite “good causes” or charities?

I am trying to collect Fart Slaves so that I have enough methane gas to create an atomic bomb. I think this is a good cause. If you want to be part of it let me know. Besides that, anything related to saving animals is a good cause. Cuz..... screw people! Animals rock!

What was the last thing you did for someone else?

Oh the list is endless......but I did buy flowers for someone too. So there. JJ ain't better than MOI!

Name 3 places you have never been that you want to visit.

The moon, the top of Mount Everest, and heaven. Besides that, Thailand, Bora Bora and Greece would work.

What was the last thing you threw in the garbage/recycling?

I threw an empty package of "Oregon Chai Tea" in the basura. Whats it to you?

Name 3 things on your bedside table.

I have two bedside tables. Which one do you want to know about? There is dust, cat hair and dog treats on one of them. A lamp, a picture of me with my bro (he just got engaged woo hoo) and me and my friend Mary-Anne and some candles, oh yeah and some more dust.

Describe or name the last piece of art you looked at.

I would probably have to say Trey Ratcliff's website "Stuck in Customs" that I told you about the other day. But also I went to the art gallery in La Isla and had a look at some art them there.

What are the top 3 things that your job requires you to think about?

1) How to avoid questions.

2) How to say shit without really lying but without really telling the truth.

3) When to hang up on someone who gets your adrenalin going.

What was the last musical or theatrical event that you attended?

Holy crap that was like seconds ago. Have you ever been to my office? There's singing and dancing and all sorts of crazy shiat that goes on over here up in this hizous!

What are the first 3 things you would do if you won the lottery?

I know you all think I would go out and partay like a rockstar. But first I'd sit down and figure out taxes and what I am really left with. I would then consult with my father and a financial advisor, most probably going with my father's advice. I'd have a little fun with it (travel and purchase some items) and probably invest in real estate.

Describe or name the last serious injury or illness you had?

I got a really bad bacterial and viral infection. The doctor did not test the bacteria and didn't know what type of virus I had and prescribed the wrong antibiotics. When I phoned to tell her they weren't kicking in she said to give it more time. I did. I woke up one morning and couldn't move the left side of my face. My 7th cranial nerve was compressed by the massive infection that I had. Which basically means I was so swollen that the main nerve that controls the actions on the left side of my face got squished. I had Bell's Palsy for two months. The left side of my face was droopy, I couldn't speak properly (let alone Speak another language like this), I had to blink with my finger, tape my eye closed at night and I can't tell you how stressful it was to have this in a foreign country. My dad had it years ago and via his advice, acupuncture, holistic medicine, an electric stimulator, traditional medicine, meditation, my friend's support and my will to get better, I can now smile again and am thankful that I can do so.

What are the top 3 things that you wish you could do?

I know in general people are suppose to have no regrets. But I really do wish I could rewind time and do some things differently. I wish I could undo the fact that I had to have ACL surgery and I wish I could have never met the biggest mother fucker that I've ever met in my life. (See....I'm not bitter at all!) Although...I still like that ring. Asshole. Wow....I digress fast don't I? LOL! I also wish I could fly and harness my psychic ability more.

What was the last thing that someone said to you that you will remember forever?

"Your friendship blow winds of change through my soul." ~ Chris "The Fart Slave"

So then there you go. I hope I didn't bore you with my MEMEME!

I'm suppose to tag some people now....um....who should I piss off? I don't remember who's already been tagged so:

A Canuck in Cancun

Heather in Paradise

Living the Lisa Loca

Isla Gringo

Just Married Chilean Style

Fned

Have fun with it!

Rich Expats

You know the ones.

They live in fancy houses and drive fancy cars that they probably never have to drive themselves. They don't just have one maid they have several and in addition to that they have a personal assistant, a go-fer and someone waiting in the wings to do whatever is told of them.

They live in Mexico but you know.....not really. Because they never really have to deal with stuff.

They never learn a lick of Spanish and they never have to do the every day mundane things that make us normal folk go fucking mad from day to day. They don't have to deal with utility companies or hacienda or immigration. They don't have to even get gas or bring their car to the mechanic. They don't have to wonder where to get that one part for that one thing they bought, because that's someone else's job. They don't even have to pick up the phone and order a pizza, because they don't speak Spanish and someone else will do it for them anyway! They never miss the things from back home because when they do, they simply....go back home and get them.

Having money and living in Mexico sure makes things easy....and of course....less stressful. I've done things myself and gone absolutely mad.

I've also paid someone else to do things for me. Like pay for my tenencias or hook up my telmex, just for PEACE OF MIND. You know, so I don't fricken lose it. The BS involved in doing these things is something I do not have the patience for. I've learned this and prefer to pay (with money) for my sanity.

But you know,
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I can still order a fucking pizza by myself!

Except they don't deliver in my area because apparently it doesn't exist in their system.........

Figures!

It's The Agua Truck! Run!!!!

At lunch time I heard the Agua truck down the street. They were honkin and screaming "Agua Electropura".

By the time I got up I realized they were about to round the corner and miss my apartment when I freaked out, ran faster, whistled and yelled, "THREE!!!!".

I've got one question for myself.

Q: "Did you forget what country you were in?"

A: "Yes, but only for the amount of time it took to say "three" instead of "tres". Then I realized if I wasn't in this country, I'd probably not be running out the door when I heard the Agua Electropura truck, and I would simply be drinking right out the tap."

Ok then. Just checking.

And just in case you were wondering.....the man held up 3 fingers and confirmed that I wanted THREE garrafones. Smart chap that Electropura guy. Glad he figured out what the stupid white (but very tanned) girl was saying.

Crococun Zoo ~ Part 2

Ok I promised video so I have two for you!

I was so excited by all the action that I didn't do a very good and wasn't really thinking about getting good shots. I was all stressed out about holding a bag of food and a camera and trying to feed the animals at the same time and getting shots with me and my mom and the animal. Woah too much stress for one girl to handle I tell ya!

The first clip is our first encounter with the monkeys. They came down and wanted our naners (translation = bananas .... so get yer head out of the bukkit!) from us. If you know me, you'll hear the part where I really wanted to say, "Just give me a piece of the f'n banana!" but instead was more polite about it (mom and strangers around and all that). And then there's a part where I'm pissed that the monkey won't take my naner because.....well....just watch:

This next clip is me handing another monkey a peanut. I said "handing" but he had another way of getting it:

Sorry if the clips look distorted. I had to rotate them. Again, in all the excitement I got all kerlfuzzed about everything and goofed. Sorry!

Crococun Zoo ~ Part 1

One day when my mom was here we wanted to go snorkelling in Puerto Morelos. Unfortunately it was really windy and the snorkel guide suggested we come back another day. Since the Crococun Zoo is just down the road, we decided to go there instead and we really enjoyed ourselves.

It costs $200 pesos for adults and Cancunenses get a discount. You can buy a bag of fruit, nuts and veggies for the animals and I recommend that each person buy their own bag. I believe it cost $18 pesos per bag.

It is a guided tour and it only took us about a half hour to go through. I would have liked to stay in there longer and interact a little more but for some reason our guide spoke super duper fast and rushed us through pretty quickly. I'd go back because I love animals but there was no one there waiting and I saw no reason to be rushed through like that.

Rather than yap my way through this, I prefer to show pics.

So here they are! Enjoy:

The second part will have some video that I took. I have yet to edit it and upload it.

Stay tuned!

Travel Via Photo Magic

I've had a a secret for a while. It's not a dirty secret. But one I've finally decided to share with you.

I travel around the world every day. I get to meet all sorts of people, and view all sorts of interesting sights. From temples to scenery, animals to strange buildings, from children laughing to interesting faces.............I am going to share this with you so you can come along too. It doesn't cost a penny and there is no jetlag involved.

This is just one of the many sights that will be on our daily tour:

Photo Credit: Trey Ratcliff on Flickr & Stuck In Customs

A friend directed me to this photographer's website, Trey Ratcliff, one day and the pictures I viewed on the first page of his website got me hooked enough to check back without fail.

In addition to my cheezburger obsession, this is my other, more spirital obsession. I am giving you a gold mine by giving you the link so please add to your reader or visit every day. You will not be disappointed by the journeys you will be taking.

You can see Trey's blog which I visit every day by clicking HERE.

And if you are interested in viewing his portfolio to music, check out THIS link.

Enjoy, and I'll see you on the other side of the world!

Happy Birfday Canuckla!

I Can Has A Blog!!!!!!!1!

O Hai!

I can speak cheezburger. How bout uz? Can uz speaks it tooz?

We can has a parties with imaginaries lolcats!

I iz adikted to cheezburger fun and you can be same. Race is not a ishoo.

Speakin Ingrish? U doin it wrong! U has a FAIL!

Get in ma bukkit sayz da walrus.

Da kitteh sayz hi FUD!

Bunneh sayz get snorglz.

I has a imaginary dance partner. Uz can pretendz tooz!

Iz 1 cheezburger that make a big lafs:

Welcomez to my worldz of funz. I likes xcape into cheezburger kitteh, puppeh, failz for funz.

Welcomez to da darks sideZ! Joinz wif mees peez:

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER

I CAN HAS HOT DOG

FAIL DOGS

Sidenoatz in Ingrish: When beckla sent me the cheezburger website for the first time I got all frustrated and confused and was like, who is this idiot that started this ESL website? They no speaking the English too good! But I has'd a bad! LOL! Sowy! No oh fence! Now I get itz!

Opps. Thatz cheezburgerz speakings! LOLcats/dogs/failz! How make me stopz speak burger w/ cheez?

OH NOooooooOOOOs! Ma soulz!

Kthxbai!

Dear Neighbours With Dogs:

Please do not let your dogs loose so that can do whatever they want and wreak havoc in our precious desarollo we like to call "home".

It is not my job to walk your dog because you are too lazy. It is also not my job to calm your aggressive harrassing dog, nor is it it my job to tell your dog to stop bothering my dog who btw, is on a leash and is simply minding his own business and respecting all aspects of dog etiquette.

Don't bother putting up your "Don't let your dog shit here" signs because frankly, there are dogs FREE TO SHIT WHEREVER THEY WANT, and their "ghost owners" are nowhere to be seen to promptly pick it up. Not to mention, whats going to happen if I don't pick up my dog shit? Is there some dog shit police thats going to come and enforce your lame ass sign? There is no enforcement of such things as turning left from the far right lane when driving, so why does anyone care about dog shit for gods sake?

It is not my job to shut your dog up because it's howling, barking or whining.

It's not my job to give your dog affection it so desperately needs.

Please answer me this? Why is it that when you're not home, you lock up your dog/s? And then when you come home you let them run free? Isn't the point of having a dog like having a relationship? A friendship? Patting the dog on the head twice and saying "be free" until I leave in an hour and lock you up again is not a relationship. Are you aware that dogs need attention and love and just want to be with you? Did you not know that dogs LOVE walks and that it's just not the same when they have to dodge cars alone and are wandering around aimlessly wondering what the hell to do with themselves? Oh and following me because I'm nice and doing what a good owner does.

And Dear Neighbours with the 4 malamutes: Did you not realize that you NEVER walk your dogs? That there is no shade provided as relief from the sun for these cold loving godly beautiful creatures? Did you not notice that your concrete jungle of a yard that is certainly not large enough for dogs of that size is completely inappropriate? If you got them becuase you thought they'd be good security dogs, install an alarm instead. It's cheaper and less work if that is what you want them for. If I were to get close enough those dogs would lick me to death they are so desperate to give love and recieve it. They are no security dogs thats for sure. They are barking for attention that they never get. Diesel whines when we go by because he knows they are suffering!

To the owners of Cosi. It's not healthy for your dog to attack cars, or to stand guard in the middle of the street. It may be detremental to his health. You are lucky the people that live downstairs from me provide water to him, because he would melt just like the Wicked Witch of the West if they didn't.

To my neighbours across the street who are as far as I know, onto their 5th dog in 8 months. You obviously aren't good at this. STOP TRYING. You're new dog is too skinny for words and is too stupid to be left in the street. He was on the other side of Lopez Portillo the other day. What the heck is wrong with you people? DUH!

To the neighbours with the small something or other that just jumps around like a freak and can't control his peeing. Watch the little thing. He blends in with the road and takes off with strangers, i.e. ME. Diesel doesn't like him much either. AGAIN.... zero etiquette. Jeesh.

And you know, frankly, Suri (another dog of course), I know you love Diesel, but I got news for you....he don't love you back! And to the owner.....as nice as you are and as nice as those fake boobies are, PUT YOUR DAMN DOG ON A LEASH because you know that Suri smells Diesel from 3 blocks down and takes off towards us leaving you wondering what the hell happened to him. He will not return to you dear owner with nice boobies. He will follow me ..... all the way home. HE WANTS DIESEL THAT BAD. I don't have time to pick your dog up and bring him back to you all the time. What don't you understand after this has happened like 50 times already? You're doggy don't listen to you! Leash him! Oh and that poodle you own? I've never seen a fatter dog in my life. Perhaps you are walking the wrong dog and that the balcony isn't where she is going to get her exercise. DER!

To ALL of my shitty dog owning neighbours: Wake up or give the dogs to someone who cares. Because....you surely don't!

Love From,
That stupid Canadiense who thinks she's fresa!







Well there I went again. Getting pissed off again online........

......... just for you my lovely River Girl! I know it makes you giggle.

I Feel Weird

After 3 very busy and hectic and fun and social weeks, I'm finally alone and feel like I don't know what the heck to do with myself.

Beckla hasn't been here for a couple of weeks, Leta has been in Canada, and I just drove my mom to the airport after being here two weeks.

So now what?

Holy crap.

I'm ALONE! Cry me a river right?

Or get a fricken grip and enjoy the silence. LOL.

Here's a pic of Isla just cuz:

I have to blog about a few of the things me and my mom did but I'll just do that later since I kinda have zero ganas to do anything!

Going to go twiddle my thumbs....see ya later!

(((((((((((((BECKY)))))))))))))))

Everyone has you in their thoughts, including the little munchkins.