The Haps

I'm sorry I've been delayed in giving you an update with regard to the ball saga.

Ladies and gentlemen....

Diesel officially only has one ball now. All you men out there should thank me for that. Having moved here I've seen way more balls in my life than I ever have back home (stop yer laughing I'm not talking about human balls....I'm talking about animal balls....altho some of the balls I have seen could be classified as animal balls). Anyways, back home everyone just fixes their pets without a thought about it. Here, people either don't think about getting animals fixed or think a lot about it and whether they should do it. Usually if they have a female that's had like 3 litters they finally decide to get the poor girl fixed. If it's a male, they do not want to deprive the dog of his manhood and anyways, male dogs can't get pregnant so who cares right? There is that whole, "who gives a shit" attitude that comes into play, but like I said, they either think about it a lot or don't think about it at all. Back home, there is no question, you just get your pet fixed and thats that!

Whew. That was a long thought all run into one.

So yeah, Diesel is doing very well. He was a little wobbly when I picked him up after his surgery and had a bit of a paralyzed pee body thing go on when he tried to pee but he's all good now. Stitches come out friday and I must say they did the stitches WAY better than how they stitched up my knee when I had my ACL reconstructed.

First of all, they didn't line up my skin properly. It was all bumpy and frankenstein looking. Secondly, they used that disolving stitch thread and I actually had holes in my skin that did not absorbe the stitch properly. So it was like a hole, with a fishing line coming out of it. It was scary and nasty all at once really. Third, I could pull on one of the stitches and it would tug on the skin underneath in another location. I shouldn't be able to do that. I mean cut that damn thing off properly.

So next time I have surgery, I'm getting the vet to stitch me up, cuz now I have those ugly keloid scars.

I take it back. I have the prettiest keloid scars in the universe. I made the mistake of looking up "keloid scar" in google's images and MAN OH MAN. I LOVE MY SCARS.

So yeah, Diesel is good. This is him a coupld of days after the surgery taking advantage of his flexibility and the sun.

The picture was taken with my cell phone camera and boy am I glad I invested in it. Sure comes in handy!

Zen Quotes

I was going through my desk drawer and found a clip of Zen quotes. My friend Janie gave them to me a couple of years ago and with each day that would pass, there would be a new quote. I saved the ones I liked and figured I should post them on my blog so that I could get rid of the clutter but still keep the quotes.

Unfortunately, due to HURRICANE WILMA (biatch), they are looking a little sad and I've lost a few of them. Hopefully they will remain here for all of you to enjoy for years to come.

To live in fear and falsehood is worse than death.

-Zend-Avesta

Hatred never ceases through hatred. By compassion alone does it cease.

-Shakyamuni

In thinking, keep to the simple.

In conflict, be fair and generous.

In governing, don't try to control.

In work, do what you enjoy.

In family life, be completely present.

-Lao-tzu

He who grasps loses.

-Tao te Ching

Winter always turns to spring.

-Nichiren

Memory is incomplete experience.

-J.Krishnamurti

Not to have any desire whatsoever --

that is the way.

-Keizam

When you paint a dragon,

you paint his scales, not his bones;

when you see a man,

you see his face, not his heart.

-Chinese proverb

Zen has no business with ideas.

-D.T. Suzuki

The mind is everything,

what you think, you become.

-Buddha

Think with the whole body.

-Taisen Deshimaru

The warrior must only take care that his spirit is never broken.

-Shissai

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

-Japanese proverb

A truly wise person will not be carried away by any eight winds:

prosperity, decline, disgrace, honor, praise, censure, suffering, pleasure.

-Nichiren

Reality has no inside, outside, or middle part.

-Bodhidharma

Have much and be confused.

-Tao te Ching

The mind is host,

the body guest.

-Japanese saying

Every smile makes you a day younger;

every sigh a day older.

-Chinese proverb

The next message you need is right where you are.

-Baba Ram Dass

Never let life's hardships disturb you.

After all, no one can avoid problems,

not even saints or sages.

-Nichiren

Tolerance and patience should not be read as signs of weakness.

They are signs of strength.

-Dalai Lama

Your teacher can open the door,

but you must enter by yourself.

-Chinese proverb

We tend to wear suits of armor

one over the other. . .We hope

we will not have to completely undress.

-Chogyam Trungpa

Those who know do not talk.

Those who talk do not know.

-Tao te Ching

Be like . . .

-Bruce Lee & Elizabeth

Snow That Could Have Been Yellow!

You need to go check out that Joyceee's blog if you haven't already. My guess is that you have already since most people click from her blog to my blog. There are pictures of snow and while she may hate it, I do miss it. Especially since I have fond memories of freezing myself to the back of a sled that is attached to a snowmobile that my brother is desperately trying to shake me off of.

I am and still remain the Undisputed Champion of the Snowmobile Drag. In fact, I can last for hours without seeing a damn thing, boogers and eyelashes frozen, snowpants half off with chunks of snow in my pockets and down my pants, frozen cheeks and icicle chunks stuck to my hair and the great need to pee. If and when I do get bumped or booted off, you know you are NEVER a champion until you see your gloves frozen to the ropes that have been dragged away with the sled, only to leave you glove-less and worse off than you already were.

Ahhh the days when it would take an hour to dress up to go out and by the time you were done you realized you had to pee.

Ahhh the days when I would come running in yelling "I have to pee!!! Mom come help quick!" so that she could assist me in disrobing so that I wouldn't pee not only my pants, but whatever else I had on....including my boots.

Thank god we had that cabin built cuz going in the outhouse in the winter surely sucked the big one. Who wants your ass frozen to the toilet seat in the outhouse.

Ohhhhh the nightmares......

So surely all you folk who do get snow can savor and appreciate it....just as much as I use to......

He still has BALLS!

Well the dog still has his undropped ball. The vet said the clinic lost power and asked if I wanted to try for Saturday or just do it this week and I opted for trying it this week.

Kind of stressful and all that but at least he is ok.

I went to playa all by myself yesterday and read a half a book which is like record time for me since I don't generally like to read. I'd rather do other things. Anyhow, it was nice except for the fact that I parked in the wrong place (I do it all the time in cancun and it's fine) and got a ticket. I was about to laugh at the ticket when I realized they took my plate. I didn't care so much since I figured that Transito was right in downtown playa but it turns out it's not. And the ticket does not have an address or a telephone number that will tell you where to go. OH NO. You have to guess where they took your damn plate.

So after getting the shittiest directions ever from a cop, I went to the Extra store and got great directions from an every day citizen and went and paid $191 pesos and got my plate back.

I think that if you are going to enforce the law, don't you think you should be a little more consistent?

Anyways I'm a dumbass cuz there were parking spots ahead of me that were completely legal but I just figured I could park there without problems. Whatever. Now I know. And more importantly I did it without crying and freaking out about it.

I think it was easier for me to get my plate back than to get those bags of licorice....must think of master plan.

One Ball Less

I took that Diesel into the vet today because one of his balls didn't drop. You can actually feel it in his tummy and I tried really hard to try and pull it down but it didn't work. I friend suggested I put my mouth around his muzzle and blow really hard and I'm kicking myself in the ass for not having tried that BEFORE I took him.

We shall see if everything (well...just the one ball) comes out ok. I sure hope so. He is small and he is skinny so I'm certain he won't be happy. But more than anything, I'm sure he'll just want to be with mommy cuz he's a pussy that way.

But he's certainly not as much as one as you'd think. Cuz even with only one ball dropped, he managed to rip up my favorite pair of white shoes right under my clearly Italian nose. And not just one shoe. Oh no. We managed to rip the shit out of both of them. They are no longer wearable and I'm quite angry about it because I liked them. They were comfortable and if I had to run after a thief in them, you can bet that thief would be looking for his balls after I'm done with him.

Speaking of balls. Why is it that here in Mexico when you read a menu for ice cream...it says:

-1 Ball $30 pesos
-2 Balls $50 pesos

If I knew it was that easy to just buy a pair of balls, I would have bought them a long time ago.....

Due to my ice cream background, my guess is that if it was "Gelato" they would be Italian balls, if it said "Helado", they would be Mexican balls and if it said "アイスクリーム" they would be Japanese balls, but you can bet you won't be getting your money's worth if you buy those ones.

I've been told by my co-worker that if you buy "мороженое" balls....they are most fun to party with.

So there you have it. Ball or no ball, Russian or Canadian. Take your pic...there are plenty to go around.

Tarot Card Reading for My Good Friend Ricardo

My good friend Ricardo asked me to bring some light into his life to help him make a decision. I thought it might be a good idea to give him a tarot card reading to clarify things in his life. He is a great person who has been a good friend even though I do not see him often. Just one of those great people who often loses their path and as a result just needs a little guidance to find their way home. So here it goes my dear, lets hope for good things.

This is how it works. I will draw three cards for you. They will represent the past, present and future. First I will do my own reading on the cards and then I will tell you what it says in the book. After that, I will draw what I call a "oner" and depending on the card, it could reinforce things, give a general overview, or give you better direction.


PAST -My Reading - Three of Swords:

The three of swords cards speaks in volumes and you don't have to know anything about Tarot card reading to figure out what it's about. It doesn't necessarily have to do with your heart being broken, however it of course can mean that. For you, it's a culmination of everything. Your past hasn't been that easy and it appears you have had disappointments in more than one area of your life. You hold these close to you and reflect on them often and unfortunately keep them with you today, which has made it difficult for you to make decisions about where to go and what to do. You fear that the pain will continue and you truly believe that no matter what choice you make, there will probably be failure. I encourage you to take what you have learned and not forget it, but let it go. Think forward to positive things and try to realize that positivity will make things go easier for you.


PAST - Book Reading - Three of Swords:

Misery, sorrow and grief at the end of an affair or friendship. But take heart, time will ease the pain.

PRESENT - My Reading - Nine of Cups:


This is your present card Ricardo. And I have to tell you, it's really not all that bad. I know you are traveling and I know you are meeting new people and doing new things. There is a lot going on around you and you don't necessarily feel bad, but you do appear to have a troubled look on your face. There is a black curtain behind you which represents your past and it's constant presence in your life. However, if you look above the curtain, you will see 9 beautiful golden cups that are filled with a rich wine. You know thats what you want. But you are not visualizing it and that could be detrimental to your decision making process. You need to look around and see the good and take that to your advantage. Don't let the black curtain be dragged behind you wherever you go.

PRESENT - Book Reading - Nine of Cups:

Good health and good fortune. Successful fulfillment of wishes. Joy, fun and merriment. Social gatherings, parties and entertainment. Meeting new people, making new friends. Possibility of excess - remember to temper your enthusiasm with moderation.

FUTURE - My Reading - Ten of Coins:


This card represents your future Ricardo and let me tell you....it's good. I will tell you that again, you have to appreciate all the things you have right now and stop focusing so much on what you want, don't have, and are afraid to lose. Focus more on what is positive about what you have and what is going on with you and you are guaranteed success. This card tells many great things and if I could pick any card of the deck to respresent my future, this would be it. You are rich in family and good friends and balance that well with whatever money you will have. You could be making good money in whatever you do, but that is not what is important with this card. What is important is that you will find your balance between your work and your relationships with people, and it will be good and you will be happy.

FUTURE - Book Reading - Ten of Coins:

Prosperity, stability and happiness. An inheritance, or a financially beneficial marriage or partnership. Potential for great joy within the home.

Ricardo, there are women present in every single one of the cards I have pulled for the Past, Present & Future. Women are a huge part of your life. So in case you didn't know it, I'm telling you now!

Ok, time for the oner card. I pulled it from the deck but I have not looked at it yet because I wanted to focus on your three main cards first. Let me pull it and tell you what I think.

ONER CARD - My Reading:


Well my dear. This card to me appears to be family specific and as I mentioned earlier, each card I pulled for you has a woman in it strengthening the fact that women are very influential in your life. My guess is that this card ties in with your future card and emphasizes family and happiness. It appears that your future will be what you want of it and whatever woman you encounter that is in these cards, will be the woman who will help make you centered and successful. Of course, only you hold the key to your happiness, but this woman that I see in your future will round it all out for you.

ONER CARD - Book Reading:

Celebration, peace and plenty. Contentment and domestic joy.

There you have it Ricardo my dear. I think you are stressing yourself out and that you aren't really stressing about external factors right now that are effecting you directly. I think it's more you and your fears that are the issue right now. Like I said, think positively and be thankful for all the great things you have.

Love ya. I know you will make the right choice. And remember. Your choice does not have to be a choice that will be for the rest of your life. If things don't exactly work out....remember, you can always always always change your path.

Love,
~La Bruja

I AM THE WORLD

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Now Listen Here

I think that the main reason that people have blogs is sort of the same reason that some people have diaries. But did you ever notice, that with diaries, there are locks on them and that people don't generally share them with the world?

So there is a reason sometimes that I don't blog. It's mostly because I have a lot to say but I don't want the whole world to hear about it. So if you want to complain (yeah you you know who you are) about me not updating my blog on a regular basis, just remember that you get the information first hand and that it is way better or WAYYYYY worse....depending on how you look at it, than a toned down kitty (prrr) version blog.

Not that my blog is a kitty (prrr) version or toned down or anything. Sometimes I say dirty words like fuck and bitch. (Sorry mom).

So anyways. Truth be told. Lots of shit is going down but I'm not going to tell you about it. HA.

What I am going to tell you about is my hair. Because it is long. And I am proud of it.

Do you remember when I blogged about measuring my hair? On September 13th, 2006, Beckla measured the longest part of my hair at 20 inches. It was then measured again on November 8th, 2006 at a whole 21 inches. Well that Beckla measured it yesterday (that would be January 3rd, 2007) and my hair is a wopping 22.5 inches.

I think it is safe to say that my hair grows a half an inch a month. It's interesting because to me it's all the same length whether it's three months ago or today.

I know I know. Who cares about your hair! You want to know the gossip!!!!!

Yeah well too bad. So sad. :)

How's that for positivity JJ?