Geniuses at Walmart

As I'm getting in line at Walmart last night I see a tourist asking one of the employees if she speaks English. The employee nodds no and is stressed out so I chime in and ask the woman what she needs. The employee is relieved and the woman comes over and says, "Do you speak English?".

I have to stop here and tell you that it ALREADY appears to me that I'm dealing with an idiot. I was clearly speaking English when I asked "What do you need?" and there was no accent of the sort, so why would you ask me if I speak English after I clearly spoke English to you? What is it about being around other people's languages that makes you not able to recognize that someone is speaking to you in YOUR language? Ugh.

So I say yes (DUH!) and she says she wants to pay for this (t-shirt) with a travellers cheque but wants to get US dollars back. I said no, you won't get dollars back you'll get pesos back. She says, "But I don't want pesos back. I want dollars back!".

Oh dear. Yep we really have a smart one here folks. I'm fuming on the inside already but I calmly say back, "You're in Mexico, buying something in a Mexican store, you're going to get pesos back. This is not a bank. This is Walmart.".

She tells me that she was here before and that she went to the bank before she left to change her pesos back to dollars. I told her she can certainly do that. But that she would still get pesos back because she is at Walmart, not a bank. I told her that she's in another country and would be dealing with the currency of that country, and not the currency of HER country.

I even went so far as to tell her that the exchange rate at Walmart was really good, and told her what the difference was compared to the cambios (exchange houses) on the street.

She still whined, "I don't want pesos!".

So I said, look you're going to get pesos back if thats the way you are going to pay (I don't even know if they accept travellers cheques to tell you the truth but I wasn't even going to mention that). They not only accept credit cards at Walmart, but also have bank machines there, so if she was so freakin stressed out about getting Pesos in MEXICO she should have just paid that way.

She left and didn't say thank you.

And you wonder why violent images are a constant vision in my head.

Thanks Janie!

Janie lightened up my photo with that Criss Angel. Looks much better now. Thanks! You're a super star!

Criss Angel-Mindfreak in Cancun with Lizzy

Usually on the weekends Leta and I head to Las Cabañas Beach Club which we just call The City Beach Club because it's just easier. From weekend to weekend not much happens and everything is pretty much the same.

This past weekend however we had a little bit of excitement!

Earlier in the day we noticed that down in front of the Salvia on the beach there was a film crew filming a girl doing some sexy belly dance moves with the ocean as the backdrop. The film crew eventually showed up at the City Beach Club after they were done filming that. Since there was a film crew there a few weeks before just taking advantage of the sun and relaxing, we didn't think much of it.

Then we remembered that Criss Angel was suppose to be in town and after seeing the "Mindfreak" hat on a crew member we put the two and two together.

After a while several crew members approached us to ask us if we wanted to be in the show. Well of course we do silly! Beats just sitting here in the sun doing nothing (yeah i know...poor us). Another crew member came by and asked me to be one of the people that Criss performs a trick on and I certainly wasn't going to turn that down because Criss is a bit of a hottie.

They had us sign waivers and as more people show up we see who we think is Criss Angel. There isn't a lot of fanfair or security so we are confused a little and debate as to whether or not who we see is Criss or what Leta thinks is his brother.

Finally they call us up to the bar so that they can start with the filming. The staff point me out as one of the people to do his trick on and I walk up to him and say "Nice to meet you" and shake his hand. I paid special attention to his finger and toe nails (don't ask me why). They were painted black except they were what I like to call "Mayan Toes" meaning they were probably painted about a month ago and had sort of been chipped and picked away. Since Criss has style, I wondered if this was the look he was going for or if he just was too busy or too lazy to fix them up nice. God knows I get that way. So does Joyce. I mean we all have at one point or another but for some stupid reason I pondered such a silly thing.

So Criss and his crew start playing musical chairs with people around the bar. For some reason, who they sit next to the other is rather important. Criss got behind the bar and did a bit of an introduction, made himself a rum and coke and got himself situated. They got the bartenders to give us some drinks (looks better on camera) and the filming began. Criss did the first trick with a guy from Columbia. It consisted of Criss guessing the Columbian's "favorite drink". Criss invisioned the drink in the glass, said that it wasn't the proper glass for it but took a sip and then grabbed a lime and chewed on that. Behold....his favorite drink was Tequila! He did the same trick with me and another girl from New York. For some reason there was some confusion as to whether he would use me or some other girl. His deciding factor was our eyes I think. Criss asked me to raise my sunglasses and asked some other girl to do the same. After looking lovingly into both of our eyes he chose me (I'm the bomb!) to do the trick and told me to keep my sunglasses on top of my head.

He gave me a napkin and a pen and asked me to write down my favorite drink. He told me not to show anyone and to crumple it up into a ball and hold it in my hand. He took the glass, put his finger to the bottom side of it and made like the glass was filling to the top. He went to take a drink and then licked his lips which made me realize he had guessed it correctly and then shouts out, after some lip smacking, that my favorite drink is "Beer!". I say yes, but be specific! He states that this isn't a beer that you can find everywhere and isn't extremely popular but is mostly found in Mexico. He guesses Modelo and of course my sweety pie is totally correct. He asks me what I've written on the napkin, so I hand it to him, he uncrumples it and shows the camera and everyone around the bar how correct he was.

He did the trick again with the New Yorker except when he was done the trick with me, she said, "do me, pick my drink!". I would have kept it just at "DO ME!", but hey.....I guess some children watch the show so you have to be careful. Anyhow, he guessed her favorite drink as a Margarita.....Lime to be exact and that was the end of that portion.

Next Criss wanted to gather us all around the front of the bar so that we would yell out "Mindfreak!" and cheer like mad people. He had a shot of Tequila in the scene because you know.....this is Mexico. Cancun, Mexico to be exact!

They had one more trick to do and again we gathered around the bar. Criss got on top of it and Leta and I had a great view of his crotch. I mean how much closer do you want to get? (Don't ask the girl he was with later at The City Nightclub......she would say "A LOT CLOSER....and I DID!".

FOCUS!

Ok. So Criss starts asking everyone what our favorite shots are and as he asks specific people, he pulls out his hankerchief and drapes it between his legs. With a zippidy zoo da, he lifts the hankerchief and low and behold, we are presented with a pyramid of various shots. Taaa Daaaa! Woooooo!!!!

Next was the story telling/interview of what Criss had done just minutes earlier. Leta was interviewed and then I was. They did a few other people and oh lucky me (not) they made me do it again. It kind of sucks because you know, you don't get paid to look like a retard on t.v. Well, some people do, unfortunately I didn't....at least not this time!

We are finally finished with the day portion of filming and people start taking out thier cameras and I realize I at least have my cell phone camera (thank god for that!) and decide to get a pic with Criss Angel himself:

Here's Leta and Criss. I probably should have taken the picture like Leta did so mine wouldn't be so dark but oh welly welp. Shit happens. I can just buy the DVD and point to it and say, "Look! Thats me!".

After making nice with some of the crew members and joking around with them and taking a few pictures with their fancy cameras, we talked about heading to The City that evening. I hadn't planned to go out but figured that since we had so much fun during the day that we might as well try and meet up with the crew at night.

Leta and I met up with my friend Lynda and her friend Mollie outside the club. We worked our magic to skip the line and got in after some disorganization and frustration. Normally it's easy for us to get a table but I guess since it was a special night we weren't that important anymore. For some reason our bad luck turned into good and a Captain got us some drinks and as we stood around wondering if we could get a table, Criss finally made his entrance.

He got up on stage and introduced himself, got the crowd all hyped up and gave away one of his DVD's to whatever girl could dance the craziest/sexiest or whichever the crowd voted was the best.

After that I believe he went up to his VIP area which was right above us so that he could have a few drinks and so that people could get pictures with him. As they walked by we said hello to the crew members and got a few happy smiles and kisses. There was a lot going on with loud music and pictures and before you knew it he was coming down the stairs again. They were moving to a different area and lucky me, the owner/manager (don't ask, not sure what he is at this point) saw me and signalled for me to follow them. I called the girls with us and we headed to the VIP Lounge where Criss did a couple more tricks for the show.

I got lucky again and was seated right in front of him. He twisted a Corona bottle right in front of our eyes and when Leta made a comment full of sexual inuendo he reached over and asked for a kiss on the cheek only to have his lips planted right on Leta's. I saw it as they were right above me and his handcuff necklace bonked me in the head. Thanks Criss! But lucky lucky Leta!

We thought it was over but he did do one more trick which consisted of pulling a random object out of the back of his pants.

We were asked not to take pictures so that he could get the filming done with and get his party on ASAP. So I refrained which kind of sucks really cuz it was a very intimate environment with maybe 15 people.

It's time to head back to the club but Criss is angry that the object he pulled out of his behind is a dirty plunger so decides to make a stop at the bathroom. We all wait around and when he comes out he starts making out with some chica lots of tongue action and smiles.

He heads back up to his VIP area and I get lucky with a VIP hookup and end up just below him. Criss proceeds to have a good time with more fans, more alcohol and more making out. I know he came out on stage one more time and gave out t-shirts and stuff but quickly headed back up to his area for more making out with a local. LOL. Lucky girl I say!

All in all it was a really fun day and we felt extra special because of the whole thing. Criss has a lot of charisma and is a really cool guy. If you want to see some of his stunts and illusions, just head on over to YouTube.com and type in Criss Angel for a taste of what he does.

Here are some more crappy pics. I was more into the whole experience of it all and not so much into getting the best pics ever. But if you are fan, I'm sure they will tickle you pink. Check out his funky new hair (I prefer it like this actually), jewlery and whatever funky accessories that add to the Criss Angel character!

OH. The show should air sometimes in August or September. So watch out for Lizzy with Crissy.

MINDFREAK!

Questions & Answers (or at least half assed ones)

1) Why do people seriously suck at driving and do things on purpose to not only endager lives, but piss me off?

-Good question. My guess is that they don't have the same sort of rules and regulations here as they do back home my dear Elizabeth. But also, I think another problem lies where no one is enforcing it. I mean it's not ok to turn left from a right hand lane, or a far right hand lane, but yet, people do it all the time and get away with it. It's also not ok, when someone is trying to turn right, that they don't pull into the next lane and get out of the way to make the right, but that they stay in the lane they are in, refuse to signal, and then out of the blue shift down to slow down (no break lights here folks...just shifting down) and then make a wide right hand turn. Going through red lights is also acceptable as is speeding up to hit you because being a jerkoff is much better. So you see, the answer could be a lot clearer, but in the end it's just not.

2) Why do I love my animals so much?

-Good question. Because they are not people and are always there for you, even if they puke in your bed, ruin your ratton hamper by scratching their nails on it or pee on Lisa's leg. They never judge you, always love you and run to the door to give you hugs and kisses.

3) Why do people suck?

-Good question. Because they do worse things than puke in your bed, ruin your hamper with their nails or pee on Lisa's leg. They also don't know how to drive and do things like throw you under the bus because a) they are stupid or b) they are selfish bastards.

4) Why do I like food so much?

-Cuz it tastes good. And feels good in my belly. Get in my belly.

5) Why do client's suck?

-Good question. Because they didn't read their contract and are pissed off at themselves for being so stupid.

6) Do you love me?

-Good question. Not today. But maybe tomorrow. Depends on how close you come to being my pet.

7) Is Joycee happy she's back?

-Yes.

8) Does Becky need to sleep more?

-Yes.

9) What's the opposite of no?

-Yes.

10) Are you getting smarter every day?
-Yes.

I'm a Bad Girl

I forgot about doing these and JJ over at Trauma: The Drama just did one. So I'm stealing the idea of it from her.

Apparently I'm a bad girl. But I don't smoke or have any tattoos. Interesting. I'll take it because right now I feel like doing some real badness to really bad people.

You Are a Bad Girl

You are 30% Good and 70% Bad You're a total bad girl, from your wild hair to tattooed toes. But you're too badass to even care if you're labeled "bad"!

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

If you're a guy you can also take the test. I want to know if you are a good girl or a bad girl. Cuz you know, we are all girls at heart.

More Chichen Itza As Promised!

I said I'd post some more Chichen Itza pics. I have more favorites but really, how many rocks can you take? I'll let the pics speak for themselves.

Later!

Horoscope of the Dia

Friday, April 13th, 2007 PST

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
The Moon is moving toward activating your key planet Uranus late tonight, bringing surprising changes into the basic structure of your life. You could be offered another chance to break out of a restrictive relationship situation. Even if you are afraid to take any drastic action, go ahead and stir up some trouble. Initiate action now and deal with the consequences as they unfold.

I should totally stir up some trouble. I'm going to go steal an 8 ball right now.

Random Photos

The best part about my new cell phone besides the pink diamonds all over it is the camera function. I find it a lot handier than a camera and since I have my phone on me most of the time, it's pretty easy to snap pictures here and there.

Here are some of the ones I've taken with my phone:

One fun night before xmas 2006 started out at My Place and ended up at a club on Yaxchilan. We were up by the pool table and they had white snow painted "Feliz Navidad about 20 times all over the wall mirror. They totally spelled it wrong (duh) so I took care of that real quick. I fixed it up so that it said, "Liz Navidad". I even captured it on my phone and sent it to Becky at 4:30 am to make sure she knew I was out having some fun. It didn't end there of course. Because I'm a bad ass. I have nothing more to say on the topic but "here's to 8 balls!".

Thank god I have couches so that Moco and Diesel can look out into the world. You know I don't use them but at least they do. I have to keep them covered even though they are a nice faux soft suede because cats and furniture just don't mix. Here are the two buddies hanging out.

Being a Chihuaha has its privilages. You can go almost anywhere with mommy. Thank god too because you know, you were looking a little pale Diesel. Glad you're getting some sun.

There's nothing like dressing up your dog in a Survivor buff and laughing your ass off. Although, I have been told that what I did was mean. But then............... why are you also laughing?

What's the first thing your cat does when you wash the floor? Walks all over it. What's the first thing your cat does when you've just taken your clothes out of the dryer?

Mommie and Diesel gettin a tan together.

This one is not from my phone. But it's just as special. It's a picture of me and a horse on the beach:

That concludes this addition of show and tell. Bring your items tomorrow and we'll do it again.

P.S. Polkaroo from the Polkadot Door and Casey and Finnegan from Mr. Dressup RULE!

I'm Stealing Your Moth Picture

My friend Rhi just happens to enjoy taking pictures of crazy bugs, insects and other just like me! She sent me an email a while ago with pictures of the coolest moth. She said that at first she thought it was a dried up leaf, but on close inspection, realized that it was in fact a moth.

This one is small, but there are some that can grow to be about as big as your head. I've seen one resting on my mosquito screen one night. We can thank the lord that I have mosquito screens because lord knows I would have had issues with it flying around my apartment. I'm sure the pets would have had some fun though!

That reminds me of a story Adam Sandler (love him cuz he's so funny) told while he was on The Late Show. He took a vacation with his family to Mexico and after arriving to his room discovered that there was a bat in his room. He freaked out pretty bad and was too afraid to deal with it himself so he called the front desk and they sent someone up to remove it. The employee caught the bat in his hands and cuffed it so that it wouldn't escape. The employee was super insistant that Adam Sandler take a look at his bat. Adam Sandler kept saying that he didn't need to see it and that it was ok, that he could just remove it....mostly out of fear. But no, the employee still insistant and now laughing finally convinced Adam Sandler to look at his bat, which of course was no bat, but a giant moth or butterfly. The employee poked fun at Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler rightfully felt like a big dork because of it. Long story short, Adam Sandler should not feel like a big dork, because I have confused bats, with birds, and cockroaches with birds, and moths with bats and vice versa myself. You just can never tell here.

Back to the original point....here's the moth:

Stealing Pipes?

The other night when I was leaving the house, one of the water pipes that is out by the sidewalk was spewing water. It was for my apartment building, but I didn't know from which apartment exactly.

I have noticed that lately, this seems to be a regular occurance within my neighbourhood and that as I was walking Diesel on several occassions, I felt lucky that it hadn't happened to me.......

But this time it did. And since I was the first person to spot it, I called the landlord. He said he would come take a look but told me to phone Aguakan to file a report.

I called and filed and when I was done the landlord arrived. He explained to me that if it's on one side of the sidewalk it's the owner's responsibility and if it was on the other, it was the city's responsibility.

I asked him what happened and he said that someone robbed the piping which also has a gage and a tap. He then shook his head and said, "All for the low low price of $20 pesos". I told him that it was a regular occurance along my street so I guess it eventually added up to about $100 pesos for the day?

I left and by the time I came back, Aguakan was already there trying to fix it.

But you know, they didn't just replace it with more pipe and the proper gages. They simply put a hose in to stop the water from flowing all over the street and left. I wonder if they will ever fix it properly?

Anyhow. Just another thing to add to the many extra things in life we go through here.

Chichen Itza Pics

Here are some more Chicken Pizza pics:

I can hold El Castillo in my arms:

Wall of the Ball court. If your team wins, the captains head gets lobbed off. It's an honor!:

Serpent head (I think...I may be wrong though):

Columns in the temple of a thousand warriors:

Hanging butterflies:

The observatory. I observed things when I was up there:

Interior wall of the observatory:

More pics to come. Stay tuned.

Chichen Itza.....At Last!

After all the vacations I've taken and the 4-1/2 years I've lived here, can you believe I have never gone to Chichen Itza? Sick I know. But I've been now so I've finally put that to an end! For some reason the timing was never right or I wanted to do other things. My advice to you if you want to see Chichen Itza is to do so when it's the "cooler season" because otherwise you will die of the heat and go blind from the blaring sun. Anywhere between November and now is ok. Even the month of April is kind of pushing it. Especially for those who are use to cold weather. One woman from the Pacific Northwest (I heart you pnw) said that she couldn't wait to get back home where it was cold. So keep that in mind!

I took the easy way out and dragged that Becky on a tour with me and boy oh boy did we have some fun! In addition to Chichen Itza, we also drove through Valladolid, a very quaint and colonial town which is worlds away from the blitz of Cancun. We also, and for me this really was a super extra special bonus, stopped at cenote (water sink hole) Ik-Kil. Ik-Kil means "Place of the Winds". It was absolutely fabulous . My first cenote. I can't tell you how amazing it was. It really was a great day.

As I promised, here are some pics:


Corner store in Valladolid:



Street in Valladolid (pretty...nothing like this in downtown Cancun):

Cenote Ik-Kil from above:

Stairways leading down to cenote:

Looking up from cenote:

Me after my first swim in a cenote! About time!:

Midway platform where people were jumping off into the water. The light was hitting the water just right:
It looks like i'm not going to get to the Chichen Itza pics today but I promise to post them later. It's sushi and bucks time with Beckla.

Listen Here Lisa

Though it may be a fluke! Stop copying me!

LOL

Seriously tho, um, we are all kinda sick so it's on the mind. Check that Lisa's Blog out about Bichos:

Lisa 360 Blog

Learning About Things I Didn't Know I Had To - Part Tres

Health.

It's different here you know? All those things you knew back home to try and not get sick should surely be applied here right?

Good luck with that. Because you'll get sick here, and mostly it's a stomach sickness thing due to MANY things that you will be forced to learn about. But regardless, there are a bunch of other things that you just have to know how to avoid, or at least know how to identify and treat.

First off, the thing with doctors here in Mexico is that you pretty much have to be your own doctor. Sure you can go to them for help, but in general, no matter what you have, they will write you prescription for 3 things. Here it is in case you ever need it:

1) Antibiotic
2) Anti-inflammatory
3) Aspirin, cream or soak of some sort.

Pretty much everyone I know who lives here feels the pain when someone has been "forced" to go to the doctor and they walk away with 3 prescriptions (as shown above) having just paid 500 pesos for it. I say "forced" to go to the doctor because everyone I know waits until the last minute possible before they go to the doctor. One of the reasons, which is well known by Canadians, is that you actually have to fricken pay to go to the damn doctor! Who wants to pay for that!? Second, if you are well versed in the various illnesses, you can diagnose and treat it yourself or have someone else diagnose it for you all for the low low price of playing the guessing game and whatever prescription it comes with. Third, unfortunately, when you go to the doctor it's like a let down because they really don't seem to know what the heck they are talking about.

Doctor etiquette is something to be desired as well. When you have to "strip down", they don't leave the room. Just strip down right in front of them. No biggy. No privacy or anything like that. Get nekkid baby! And you know that sheet on the table you are putting your bare hiney on? Is it clean???? Or maybe those two sheets of papertowels over top some table that looks like it's from the 50's is much better? And how about, if you go with a friend, who just happens to be male, they talk to HIM instead of you, because don't you remember, you're a woman, and you're pretty dumb and don't know how to answer about your own illness yourself. Or how about you give your unwanted opinion about something that I could sue you for back home?

So you want to go to the doctor here? NOT ON MY LIFE ......... unless I really really have to.

So what can you get? You know, besides the flu and the common cold that is. Lets just add a whole range of things that you didn't think you would ever have to worry about. And let me tell you, the aren't rare. They are very common. Here are they are:

Styes
Dengue Fever
Parasites
Typhoid Fever
E-Coli
Salmonella
Rashes
Nail Fungus (Hongos)
Sea Lice AKA Thimble Jelly Fish AKA Agua Mala

I'm sure there are more....but like I said, these are the most common amongst the people I know. And let me tell you, I can tell you I've had about 5 on that list already. Come to think of it, I think I have two right now....

I've never been so knowledgeable about these things or my health in my life. Nor anyone else's for that matter. It seems we all stick together and are eachother's doctors. In fact you can go to the hospital and have a friend be more successful at diagnosing and treating your illness that the doctors with all their experience and fancy expensive tests.

While I don't recommend that you simply rely on Wikipedia or Google to treat yourself, it's something I certainly recommend in addition to going to the doctor.

So here's a more realistic prescription:

If you're not going to die,

1) Describe symptoms to friends and ask for thier advice, or their medicine.
2) Google or Wikipedia your way to health.
3) Drink lots of Yakult because it helps with stomach issues, yeast infections and diarrhea.

Who says I'm not a doctor!