Learning About Things I Didn't Know I Had To - Part Tres

Health.

It's different here you know? All those things you knew back home to try and not get sick should surely be applied here right?

Good luck with that. Because you'll get sick here, and mostly it's a stomach sickness thing due to MANY things that you will be forced to learn about. But regardless, there are a bunch of other things that you just have to know how to avoid, or at least know how to identify and treat.

First off, the thing with doctors here in Mexico is that you pretty much have to be your own doctor. Sure you can go to them for help, but in general, no matter what you have, they will write you prescription for 3 things. Here it is in case you ever need it:

1) Antibiotic
2) Anti-inflammatory
3) Aspirin, cream or soak of some sort.

Pretty much everyone I know who lives here feels the pain when someone has been "forced" to go to the doctor and they walk away with 3 prescriptions (as shown above) having just paid 500 pesos for it. I say "forced" to go to the doctor because everyone I know waits until the last minute possible before they go to the doctor. One of the reasons, which is well known by Canadians, is that you actually have to fricken pay to go to the damn doctor! Who wants to pay for that!? Second, if you are well versed in the various illnesses, you can diagnose and treat it yourself or have someone else diagnose it for you all for the low low price of playing the guessing game and whatever prescription it comes with. Third, unfortunately, when you go to the doctor it's like a let down because they really don't seem to know what the heck they are talking about.

Doctor etiquette is something to be desired as well. When you have to "strip down", they don't leave the room. Just strip down right in front of them. No biggy. No privacy or anything like that. Get nekkid baby! And you know that sheet on the table you are putting your bare hiney on? Is it clean???? Or maybe those two sheets of papertowels over top some table that looks like it's from the 50's is much better? And how about, if you go with a friend, who just happens to be male, they talk to HIM instead of you, because don't you remember, you're a woman, and you're pretty dumb and don't know how to answer about your own illness yourself. Or how about you give your unwanted opinion about something that I could sue you for back home?

So you want to go to the doctor here? NOT ON MY LIFE ......... unless I really really have to.

So what can you get? You know, besides the flu and the common cold that is. Lets just add a whole range of things that you didn't think you would ever have to worry about. And let me tell you, the aren't rare. They are very common. Here are they are:

Styes
Dengue Fever
Parasites
Typhoid Fever
E-Coli
Salmonella
Rashes
Nail Fungus (Hongos)
Sea Lice AKA Thimble Jelly Fish AKA Agua Mala

I'm sure there are more....but like I said, these are the most common amongst the people I know. And let me tell you, I can tell you I've had about 5 on that list already. Come to think of it, I think I have two right now....

I've never been so knowledgeable about these things or my health in my life. Nor anyone else's for that matter. It seems we all stick together and are eachother's doctors. In fact you can go to the hospital and have a friend be more successful at diagnosing and treating your illness that the doctors with all their experience and fancy expensive tests.

While I don't recommend that you simply rely on Wikipedia or Google to treat yourself, it's something I certainly recommend in addition to going to the doctor.

So here's a more realistic prescription:

If you're not going to die,

1) Describe symptoms to friends and ask for thier advice, or their medicine.
2) Google or Wikipedia your way to health.
3) Drink lots of Yakult because it helps with stomach issues, yeast infections and diarrhea.

Who says I'm not a doctor!