The Madness Continues!

To continue the birthday madness we hung out at the Hyatt Regency hotel on Saturday. I dig their pool area and the fact that it wasn't that typical "obnoxious tourist feel" that some hotels have.

"The Cannon" and his buds invited Leta and me out to din din at the Outback Steakhouse where we later watched the UFC. I know my background in Mixed Martial Arts is a big part of why I love such productions as the UFC, K1 and Pride Fighting. But the sheer barbaric-ness of it all is such a turn on! LOL.

Later we headed to La Terrasta for some more fun. The DJ played my party song "Fantasy" with Old Dirty Bastard and Mariah Carey. I got busted singing it a capella because the DJ turned the musiac off. Not cool. LOL. The birthday girl was mad!

I had a great time and I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep which will no doubt not happen any time soon since mi madre is coming this Sunday for two weeks!!!

I'm sure I'll be able to post the haps while she's here but if I don't, consider this a warning!

Here are a couple pics from sabado:

Me, Kristin & Leta

Hector, Phil & Cannon

(Notice the "Fighting Solves Everyting" T-Shirt lol!)

Bday girl blowing out the candle:

Ciao!

Birthday Madness

One year when I was in high school I decided that I wasn't going to make a fuss about my birthday and remind everyone when it was or plan a big party and all of that. I totally assumed that people would know that they should be throwing me a surprise birthday without having to tell them. I mean hey, it's ME, I am special, hear me roar. Roar...meep.

Yeah I gots nuthin that year.

And that was the end of that bullshit!

So now every year for my birthday I make sure I remind everyone and make sure I have parties planned. Yes, I said parties. Not just one. But more than one. And if your birthday falls mid-week...you are in luck. Cuz thats two weekends of partying! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!

So this year for my birthday, I said the hell with Valentines Day and decided to go watch some mo fo'in strippers! Yes. Show me skin baby. Lots of it. Grrrrr prrrrrr yummy grrrr. Ok STOP. Preeevert.

So YEAH!

The first night of celebrations was stripper night at Bulldog Cafe.

On hand was Leta, Lisa Love and her wonderful friend Irene. There was nothing but women there and it was a really weird feeling!

Irene & Lisa:

Birthday Girl & Leta:

Finally they brought the strippers out and of course with the first one I was all
"Inspector Stripper". Critiquing him and trying not to feel embarrassed about his performance.

He came out with a staff that had fire on both sides and was twirling it around all lame. Then he did his Cuban song and put his clothes back ON. TAKE IT OFF. TAKE IT OFF! You aren't suppose to come out half naked with fire and then put clothes on! Grrrrr.


The next dude just skeeved me out. He just seemed so corny and in to himself and I didn't like it one bit. I truly felt bad for him.....and his woman....or man.......Here's a pic of him. Bleck:

I knew two of the strippers in the show and that just made it all the more fun! Here's one of them....who was yummers:


He thoroughly ignored our group during the performance but thats ok. I got a good clip of Miguel bouncing his pene around (please see video clip) I'm sure he'll be all pissed about that. LOL. Too bad so sad. Hey, if he didn't want to be seen he wouldn't have won Mr. Mexico a few years back (bodybuilding competition here in Mexico) and you um....wouldn't be a STRIPPER!



I will say the best part of the show was when Mr. Police Ocifer came out. His performance was "TIGHT" just like his bod.


He had the moves and that just made him all the more sexy. Plus he was coming on over to me, shakin his thangs and that made it hot in there. Before I knew it.....he was grabbing my hand. There's nothing more special than being dragged on stage with Ocifer Stripper and having him let you touch his ass and abs and chest. But it doesn't end there folks. Because just when I thought I was turning on Ocifer Stripper with MY moves, I was hanging horizontally above the ground by my arms. I'm sure he was dry humping me from behind, but what do I know, I was watching my hair clean the floor. I can't explain how he did it. I know I was standing up, and he grabbing my hands and turned me around and the poof....he had my wrists and I was hanging above the floor. Now I'm not lightweight. No one tosses me around too easily. I'm a thick girl. So there was that moment what I was screaming in my head, "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HEAVY I AM YOU'RE GOING TO DROP MY FAT ASS ON THE FLOOR". But. He didn't. And I walked off the stage like a total fucking dork. Boy was I blushing. See video:



After me, Mr. Cop dude was not finished! He proceeded to pull grandma onto the floor and promptly placed her in a chair where he continued to grind on her and flipped upside handstand down with his legs wrapped around her, humping her with his ass up in her face (yesssssss!). She had full access to his behind and he kept wanting her to grab his ass but she was horrified. I would have none of it so I ran up, grabbed her damn hand and MADE her smack his ass. Holy crap what was wrong with her! Was grandpa gonna dump her? And um who gives a shit? Here's grandma:



There were female strippers as well. One Mexicana and another whom they say is from Spain. I behaved the way a normal woman would for the first stripper....and then I thought....stop rolling your eyes and being such a hater. Go with it! So I did. I got to grab the cat woman's big booby. Actually, I honked it and said, "Those are nice!" to which she responded, "I KNOW!". :) Here are pics of the ladies:




At the end (no penises were viewed in this stripper session btw ~thumbs down from me but it was fun anyways), all the strippers came out and grabbed everyone on stage to dance with them. It's pretty funny because um, they are all NAKED! I had no problem getting down with them until the cop dude said, "You like my girlfriend?" as he's grabbing my ass. I answer with, "Um, yeah she's hot, I can respect that!", until I realized what he was getting at. See his card in my hand?:


Suffice it to say, my emergency broadcasting system said, "Um...cut out fast, cut out fast...you don't do threesomes with strangers! Or at all! Abort Abort!"!!!!

I aborted for some more drinkage and laughage about the whole stripper experience.



The night carried on with good conversation and dancing and I was lucky to meet a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)fighter thats been around for quite some time and who's fought such greats as Dan Severn from the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC). And here we all are:


Notice big red balloon over my head. Thanks "Cannon"!

Whew. That blog was a lot of work. You better like it.

OH and P.S. This blog is rated "R" so if you don't like swear words and naked men and women, then don't read.

Ooops. You already did.

Sorry about that!

HAPPY BIRFDAY JOYCEEEE

Hey Joycee,
It's your birfday,
We gona partay,
Like it's your birfday!
Have a partay,
It's your birfday.

Word.

~50 Centavos Liz

Birthday Pics

I said I'd post some so here they are!


This is the middle layer of my cake. As you can see I marked it in blood (just kidding...it's some food coloring spray crap). And also, I did not make my own icing:

This is my fabulously special birthday cake that miss leta helped me with. It would have looked a lot more tacky but leta restrained me from making it so:

This is before I got completely hammered:





This is Joyce at my birthday party:




My lovely friends group 1:

My lovely friends group 2:

Ged and moi singing Bohemian Rhapsody (thanks beck)by Queen:

Wearing my tattoo artist kit that that Joyce gave me:

Can't go through the night without a tongue pic! Leta decided to be half normal and just smile:

Thats all folks. Wish you were there!

Again, thanks to everyone that made it so much fun. You are the bestest friends ever! And if you break a toe, remember, you cannot get a refund!

Thanks for a GREAT Birthday!!!

To all of those who sent me text messages, emails, msn messenger notes, phoned, showed up at my fiesta at My Place (Hotel Zone not my apartment....sorry Mike....I knew it would screw someone up), THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I really did have an excellent birthday and I'm even still getting some birthday messages today.

I have the bestest friends ever and they really went out of their way to make it great. So THANKS.

There really are lots of people that made it the bestest and I can't name everyone but here are some special thanks:

~Leta - Thank you miss Leta for helping me bake the cake and gluing my nails on and helping decorate the cake and running errands with me on Saturday and buying me chex mix and raspberry diet tea and yummy lunch and coming to my party and taking care of my drunk ass.

~Joyce - Joycee sent Dave and Marita my special birthday gift and Dave and Marita also deserve special thanks for bringing it down. So thanks guys! I will be the tattoo lady and Miami Ink will be jealous of me.

~Janet & Joe & My Place - She really wanted to make sure everything ran smoothly and gave me special treatment and cut my cake and made me laugh and gave me shit when I needed it. THANKS.

~Becky - Thank you for being my guidance in stupidity. If that's not poetic, smell my farts. Viva Cuba! <-------Drunk message sent at 4:30 a.m. to that Beckla. I am extremely funny when I want to be.

~My five button pants - Thank you for making going to the bathroom an adventure. I am not so sure I will wear you again when I go out partying because frankly, it was hard to deal with and it took a long time and hurt my nails.

~Kim & Arturo - Añejo is my friend. So thank you. And I'm sorry for abandoning you on stage while singing and I'm sorry for having lots of fun with the guitar when I should have been singing.

~Miss Kristin - My toe nails will look better than they do now when I use that nail polish and the candle wards off all evil energy. Cuz you know, we need it where we work. Seriously she came all the way into the hotel zone and then had to go to work all the way downtown and so it was lots of work and appreciate it.

EVERYONE ELSE - Thanks for just being a part of it cuz it was the bomb and thats the bestest shit ever!

There are photos floating around and once I collect them I will post or post a link or something like that ok!

Later!

Don't Forget! My B-Day is on the 17th!

Well now that I've given you enough notice to purchase me nice gifts (plural) for my birthday, I can get on with the haps.

I often think of good things to write on my blog when I don't have my computer in front of me. So when it comes time where I'm like, damn....I think I should write something, I'm usually at a loss for words.

So this blog is going to be all over the place just for you.

Firstly. I love the new Coca Zero. It is much better than Coca Light even though Coca Light is wayyyyyyy better than Diet Coke. I never use to drink any sort of pop (Yes POP. I'm from Canada so don't say to me, "Pop??? You mean SODA!") back home. Well I did when I was a kid but as I got older I just preferred water. I knew that pop was full of sugar and endless calories, diet pop tasted like crap and if you ask for a glass of water back home at a restaurant, IT'S FREE. Plus you can totally drink water from the tap and not get any sort of scary parasites or anything. Sure it tastes like pool water, but that just makes your insides cleaner and a little lighter looking (Michael Jackson drinks lots of pool water). So yeah. Try Coca Zero if you want to have coke but without the calories. It's a lot better than Coca Light and totally beats the shit out of Diet Coke. If you work for Coca Cola, please send me free Coca Zero because you didn't put me up to this. I did it all on my own.

I took Diesel to the beach on Sunday. He loves the beach. He will swim if I put him in the water but he doesn't exactly go running for it. I only put him in there cuz it cools him down and stops him from running around and peeing on other people's backpacks....just like he did. Proud moment I tell you. How's this for his pee obsession. Last night I took him out for a pee, he runs around and does his business and as we are going upstairs, he walks to the center of my neighbours door, lifts up his leg, and pees right on his door. WTF? If you know why he did this, please let me know. And come up with a better answer than "he's marking his territory" because please. The dog knows I have rules. And peeing in the hallway.....on other people's backpacks, other people's doors......NOT COOL.

So last night I went to see a psychic who is also a friend of a friend. She has said some pretty cool shit that was right on the money. Her thing is that she'll tell you something but she has no idea she's told you. It kind of pops in and out of her. Like a skitzo with different personalities. She said I could tape record but I didn't bring my nifty MP3 recorder with me and I was glad I didn't because she said that often times her voice doesn't show up. That gave me the heeby jeebies so I was glad I forgot it. Anyhow, she confirmed some things for me which are good and brought up some things that I thought were odd but still true never-the-less. I am still thinking on the reading and would like to see how it all pans out.

For those of you that read my blog know that I do tarot card readings from time to time for friends. Some people say I have some sort of gift but I'm not sure how to harness it really. I see weird shit and beat up ghosts. I'll tell people things that come true or get a really strong feeling about something and can't let go of it until I pass the info on.

For some it's fun and thats awesome if that's all it is. For others it's another dimension that they believe exists and they use it to help guide them just like some people read the bible, talk to friends or write on stupid things called Blogs.

Anyhoooo. I wanted to thank Bridie the psychic for my reading. She said more than one prayer for me at the end. In fact I think she said three. And in case you didn't know it already, I have a really special aura so get with it and buy me my birthday gifts dammit!