Birthday Madness

One year when I was in high school I decided that I wasn't going to make a fuss about my birthday and remind everyone when it was or plan a big party and all of that. I totally assumed that people would know that they should be throwing me a surprise birthday without having to tell them. I mean hey, it's ME, I am special, hear me roar. Roar...meep.

Yeah I gots nuthin that year.

And that was the end of that bullshit!

So now every year for my birthday I make sure I remind everyone and make sure I have parties planned. Yes, I said parties. Not just one. But more than one. And if your birthday falls mid-week...you are in luck. Cuz thats two weekends of partying! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!

So this year for my birthday, I said the hell with Valentines Day and decided to go watch some mo fo'in strippers! Yes. Show me skin baby. Lots of it. Grrrrr prrrrrr yummy grrrr. Ok STOP. Preeevert.

So YEAH!

The first night of celebrations was stripper night at Bulldog Cafe.

On hand was Leta, Lisa Love and her wonderful friend Irene. There was nothing but women there and it was a really weird feeling!

Irene & Lisa:

Birthday Girl & Leta:

Finally they brought the strippers out and of course with the first one I was all
"Inspector Stripper". Critiquing him and trying not to feel embarrassed about his performance.

He came out with a staff that had fire on both sides and was twirling it around all lame. Then he did his Cuban song and put his clothes back ON. TAKE IT OFF. TAKE IT OFF! You aren't suppose to come out half naked with fire and then put clothes on! Grrrrr.


The next dude just skeeved me out. He just seemed so corny and in to himself and I didn't like it one bit. I truly felt bad for him.....and his woman....or man.......Here's a pic of him. Bleck:

I knew two of the strippers in the show and that just made it all the more fun! Here's one of them....who was yummers:


He thoroughly ignored our group during the performance but thats ok. I got a good clip of Miguel bouncing his pene around (please see video clip) I'm sure he'll be all pissed about that. LOL. Too bad so sad. Hey, if he didn't want to be seen he wouldn't have won Mr. Mexico a few years back (bodybuilding competition here in Mexico) and you um....wouldn't be a STRIPPER!



I will say the best part of the show was when Mr. Police Ocifer came out. His performance was "TIGHT" just like his bod.


He had the moves and that just made him all the more sexy. Plus he was coming on over to me, shakin his thangs and that made it hot in there. Before I knew it.....he was grabbing my hand. There's nothing more special than being dragged on stage with Ocifer Stripper and having him let you touch his ass and abs and chest. But it doesn't end there folks. Because just when I thought I was turning on Ocifer Stripper with MY moves, I was hanging horizontally above the ground by my arms. I'm sure he was dry humping me from behind, but what do I know, I was watching my hair clean the floor. I can't explain how he did it. I know I was standing up, and he grabbing my hands and turned me around and the poof....he had my wrists and I was hanging above the floor. Now I'm not lightweight. No one tosses me around too easily. I'm a thick girl. So there was that moment what I was screaming in my head, "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HEAVY I AM YOU'RE GOING TO DROP MY FAT ASS ON THE FLOOR". But. He didn't. And I walked off the stage like a total fucking dork. Boy was I blushing. See video:



After me, Mr. Cop dude was not finished! He proceeded to pull grandma onto the floor and promptly placed her in a chair where he continued to grind on her and flipped upside handstand down with his legs wrapped around her, humping her with his ass up in her face (yesssssss!). She had full access to his behind and he kept wanting her to grab his ass but she was horrified. I would have none of it so I ran up, grabbed her damn hand and MADE her smack his ass. Holy crap what was wrong with her! Was grandpa gonna dump her? And um who gives a shit? Here's grandma:



There were female strippers as well. One Mexicana and another whom they say is from Spain. I behaved the way a normal woman would for the first stripper....and then I thought....stop rolling your eyes and being such a hater. Go with it! So I did. I got to grab the cat woman's big booby. Actually, I honked it and said, "Those are nice!" to which she responded, "I KNOW!". :) Here are pics of the ladies:




At the end (no penises were viewed in this stripper session btw ~thumbs down from me but it was fun anyways), all the strippers came out and grabbed everyone on stage to dance with them. It's pretty funny because um, they are all NAKED! I had no problem getting down with them until the cop dude said, "You like my girlfriend?" as he's grabbing my ass. I answer with, "Um, yeah she's hot, I can respect that!", until I realized what he was getting at. See his card in my hand?:


Suffice it to say, my emergency broadcasting system said, "Um...cut out fast, cut out fast...you don't do threesomes with strangers! Or at all! Abort Abort!"!!!!

I aborted for some more drinkage and laughage about the whole stripper experience.



The night carried on with good conversation and dancing and I was lucky to meet a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)fighter thats been around for quite some time and who's fought such greats as Dan Severn from the Ultimate Fighting Championships (UFC). And here we all are:


Notice big red balloon over my head. Thanks "Cannon"!

Whew. That blog was a lot of work. You better like it.

OH and P.S. This blog is rated "R" so if you don't like swear words and naked men and women, then don't read.

Ooops. You already did.

Sorry about that!