How to Piss the Cat Off!

Go puppeh go!

You Think You're SOOooOOOoo Cute!

What cat? I don't see a cat!



Dog? What dog? I see a cat, a stuffed animal and a stuffed ear.


Oh! There we go, it's not stuffed ear....it's a Diesel dog!

Just so you know......I didn't set up any of these. My kids are THAT talented and cute. I didn't even put "Blue" in between Moco and Diesel. Blue went up there all by herself.....(ok well Diesel brought her up but close enough)!

Ok....I'm off to go get a life now!

See ya!

Pet Portraits

Becky's Kids

While I was away Miss Becky Becky Checking Checking did a fabulous job of taking care of my kids. So much so that the first day I came back Diesel proudly went over and sat right next to that Rebecca and looked and me like, "Well....ya left me and she didn't so I'm gonna sit next to her!".

Poor Diesel has had a bad behind problem for the last month and got worse while I was away but Beck Becky (she's got lots of names that girl) did exactly what I would have done and probably better and I thank her for that.

The kit kits and doggy dog have lots of treats and even a halloween costume so they are super happy. Even Beckla got some stuff (see how many names she has) and I'm glad they fit and haven't been read yet and can shed some yellow light into her life.

As you can see the cats have pretty much made it clear that I can't go anywhere, especially if they are sitting on my luggage:

Diesel liked his t-shirt from Old Navy:

And really it's all about being back to relaxing and enjoying life:

Thanks again Beckorama (new name)!

Whats New?

Well for one. Becky doesn't like little dogs but somehow I think she lied about that one:

Moco likes to sleep right on top of my pillows and right next to my head at night. Here she is grooming herself on top of my pillows:

And here she is looking all cute and innocent:

And here we have Diesel and Moco chilling out on my king sized bed, hogging it so that there is no room left for me:


I'm not feeling very well right now. I didn't go to work yesterday and one would think that I would have gotten some rest but instead I was bothered by workers and irritated at their inability to be intelligent and respectful to my personal space.

You see, apparently there is a leak and the Cubans downstairs and over from us are flooded every time we use the washer. There is no sort of sign that there is leakage anywhere in our apartment yet we are the guilty ones.

At first they said it wasn't coming from our apartment. There were knocks on the door and discussions about where it should be coming from and at first they said it wasn't us, it was our neighbour. But then yesterday, knock knock knock, can we check your drain? Sure. There is no water there but go ahead. The guys totally annoyed me and were trying to move stuff without knowing how to move stuff and they wouldn't listen to me when I told them not to touch my shit. I mean he was trying to pick up puppy pads with pee on it and move the kitty litter box but only picking up the lid. I told them to stop and that I'd move it since they were obviously incapable of 1) asking if they could move it and 2) incapable of understanding how and where to put stuff.

They brought a hose in and turned on the water and decided to make a mess with water and dirt and kitty litter all over. They watered my christmas decorations which was fun and went in and out of the apartment several times. I asked if they were done yet because I wanted to put the stuff back and they said yes they were done. So I cleaned up the mess and put my stuff back.

Knock knock knock a little later on.

Some different guys want to check the leak. The leak that shows that there is no sign of water coming from our apartment? Fine. Without asking they started to try and move the washer. Ok now I'm getting pissed. I asked them what is it you're trying to do? I told them that the other guys said they were done and that I had just cleaned up and put the stuff back and now you want to move stuff again? No. I think not. They said well we need to check where the leak is coming from (how many times have I heard someone say this?) I had to tell them to go get the hose and where to connect it and how to turn the water on and where to stick the other end so that it could drain. (I could tell them where to REALLY stick the end but you know, I'm so polite I didn't say that)

Then they left and I hear banging downstairs and I figure they are done with me.

No one says anything to me about anything. I know nada about nada.

Then, this morning.

Knock knock knock.

The workers say, "Hi we're here to work!".

This is when my head starts spinning and I start throwing up green vomit all over them.

But Becky steps because she sees that I'm about to lose it. She tells them we are going to work and we know nothing about this and they say ok, and they leave.

They leave. Just like that. Bye bye. Ciao.

Now, is it just me, or is there like a huge chunk of the story missing here? Like how about someone tells us whats going on and what needs to be done. And how about someone contacts the actual owner of the apartment to get permission to rip out someone's wall or floor? How about MY landlord then calls me to ask if it's ok for them to come in and fix shit, and that yes she knows about it and it's ok. How about a little communication and respect? Is that possible? I mean the workers could have simply said, did the contractor speak to you about us doing work here today, we need to do this, is it ok, did they make an appointment with you, yadda yadda yadda?

Yeah I think not.

So I still don't know what the hell is going on. I don't know what it is they want to do. And the best part is they just walk up in there and say "we are here to work".

Guaranteed, they will rip up the wall and or floor and find out that the leak isn't where they just ripped up the wall. I will have a hole in the wall, they will fix it half assed and at the end of the day when I leave that apartment the landlord will say, you have to pay for this shit job.

And no, I'm not staying home on the weekend to move my shit into the living room and listen to them smash holes into the wall only to find that the leak is downstairs.

I dunno. I just don't get it. I don't think things have to be this disorganized and desmadre'd (i made that word up).

All I can say is that I'm glad I will have a break from the madness.

Did you know that when you get your drivers license here, all you have to do is park the car to get it and you don't even have to parallel park it? NO WONDER DRIVING IS SUCH A NIGHTMARE!

Oh Vancouver. Here I come. Treat me well because I need it.

What They Think of Hurricane Dean

As we wait for Hurricane Dean to either hit or miss us, it appears that not all of us are as worried as the rest of us:

It's not my couch anymore:

A box does wonders and costs nothing:

Blue is the name of Diesel's new stuffed friend. It looks like Dirty may be on the outs as Blue has a lot more useful stuffing in it:

Picture Show & Other Stuff!

So as usual, I'm sorry for not blogging. I don't think I have any regular readers except for Becky anyways and the best part is that Becky pretty much knows anything and everything and the fact that she reads this is still pretty funny but hey how's that for a run-on sentence?

So I joined a new gym. They have valet parking. WTF? It really irks me that they have valet parking for a freakin gym. If I park a little farther, which is what I do, I don't have to use the valet parking. But where I park is actually not a parking spot so I may look like a cheap weirdo or something. They don't charge for the parking but this is a TIPPING society so on top of my expensive membership (700 pesos) I have to tip to park? Screw that. I'm so confused by this whole concept. I drive a chevy monza and I guess the people that have Beamers and Hummers and Mercedes need valet parking, but if you're going to the gym to get that body in shape, can't you at least park your own car too? Lordy.

Remember those pretty blinds I bought that were expensive but do nothing in terms of keeping the light out? I wanted to show you the difference between having the blinds open, and closed. There really isn't a big difference so here it is:

Blinds open (don't even bring up the dirty window because I can't get the window out to wash it, the apartment settled too much):

Blinds closed:

See the giant difference they make? As a result they were moved into the family room and I got normal navy blue blinds that actually block out the light in my bedroom. They do look nice there and they serve their purpose better. But please, please don't buy these if you hate any sort of light in your room when you're sleeping!

This really isn't a very good picture but when you walk out our front door to go down the steps this is what you see:

If you look hard enough you can see the ocean. It really is peaceful and calming and I have the same sort of view if I look out my bedroom window (not directly of course but from the side).

It is a consensus that Moco is the shit disturber of the house (ok, she comes behind me of course) and she is really good at pissing off Becky. So Becky put her in a cage:

She doesn't look to happy but of course Moco is mad for like 1 second and then forgets she was mad (too much bleach licking in her lifetime) and pretends to be cute for a second or two:

Diesel has what we like to call his "Dirty". It use to be a bunny rabbit and use to be cute. But then Diesel got ahold of it and made it his everything friend. He couldn't just let the bunny be the bunny. He eventually ripped off the eyes and the nose and all of the stuffing. Poor little Dirty doesn't make a good humping partner these days (kind of flat and lifeless) but at least Dirty is something Diesel can use to push all over the floor to help sweep. Dirty is also good for shaking back and forth and tossing all around and Dirty is very good for sleeping with as well. (Dirty is also good for grossing out anyone who comes in it's path because you know, Diesel likes to bring Dirty right over to you for you to touch and feel and love just like he does!) Dirty is also used for couch acrobats as you can see in the following pictures:

My mom would probably want to throw Dirty out. And actually I've considered it myself. But frankly, dirty is Diesel's baby blanket and I just don't have the heart to do it, even if it is really gross, disgusting and "dirty".

So I have this all purpose bucket that I use for pretty much everything. I use it to soak my feet, I use it to bathe Diesel, I use it to throw shit in. Moco uses it too:

And last, but certainly not least. When I wasn't looking, someone stole my heart. Ok it wasn't a someone because people suck. But boy oh boy this filthy skinny yucky looking street dog reached right in and grabbed my heart out of my chest. I tried to ignore him but really I couldn't because I started to talk to him and he was confused. He did a double take and was like, "Are you actually talking to me? I'm just a worthless street dog that no one gives a shit about. Are you sure you're really talking to me?". I said, "Yes of course I am, even if you look like death you are kinda cute. Come on over here and let me give you some love because it sure looks like you need it." So there I was giving this dog some love and I realized that the least I could do is give him one meal that would give him a little more nutrition than a plastic bag. So up I went and down I came with some cat food (Diesel won't eat dog food). I put it on the sidewalk and he gobbled.

Street doggy was there the next day and oh lordy I knew I was in for it. When I came down the stairs and he was at the bottom he looked up at me and said, "Hello, my name is Rosco, and I think I really like you."

So there you have it. Present me with a beggar on the street or a helpless dog and you know which one I'm choosing to help. Here he is, ROSCO:

You can see he's rather skinny but I plan to fatten him up. He is so good natured and gets along with all the dogs in the neighbourhood and really just wants to be loved. I will continue to feed him and have conversations with him but please, if you know of anyone who is willing to rescue this loving face ....let me know ok?

Busted!

I guess Moco was having a bad day. I wish I had a punching bag in the apartment like she does.

She totally got busted. While I suspected it was her that does this every once in a while, I didn't know for sure. Now I know:

In the same day, I caught Diesel dressing up in drag:

It seems I've only got one normal animal. She is as innocent as can be (well minus the whole ripping up your couches thing. Thats why I have sheets over them):

Yes folks. My house is rather exciting!