Dear: Office Cleaning People

You probably won't read this blog, nor understand it, nor care.....but it's kinda like how you clean our offices right?

There have been a few things that have been bothering me. Instead of telling you directly, I think it's just best that I blog about it in my usual bloggy, bitchy way.

:)

Let's do this with numerals shall we?

1) I know you think I think you're cleaning my desk. But really....I be yee not that stupid. I know you've just wiped the middle of my desk with your dirty rag, in essence, spreading other people's germs all over my desk and then thoughtfully carrying my torch of germs to someone else's desk. But you know and I know, that all you do is shuffle my shit around, put it where it doesn't belong, dump paper clips out of my fancy spinning pen holder (it ain't fancy btw...just sounded more special if I said it that way), make sure everything is just off kilter 49.26% and take out my secret papers from under my keyboard and leave them out in plain view. How about you don't touch my desk AT ALL? Cuz frankly every second day I'm sick of having to straighten my shit out after you've just dirtied my desk more than it needs to be. Kthxbai!

2) Do you really have to come in twice a friggen day to dump our already empty garbage bins? Once every two days is ok by me. The location of my garbage bin makes it inconvenient for me to have to pass it to you when I'm super duper busy blogging about your shitty cleaning capabilities.

3) Lady/ies who think that the best way to "dump" the garbage is to stick your hands in the garbage and pick it out with your bare hands. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? Did you not know that you can dump the garbage without even having to touch it? Or is this just some new age technology you don't understand? Yuck ew and gross. Try not to touch the door handle on your way out. BARF.

4) Skeevy cleaning boy. I know you like to sing in the halls and pride yourself in the way you squeegy the windows clean. That's cool. That don't bother me much. But when you come in, in the late afternoon, just take my fucking empty garbage already and dump it. You don't have to get on your hands and knees and say, "Excuse me master may I have your garbage I really want to throw it out". It's annoying. Not to mention, every single day and every single afternoon that you come in I tell you that I don't have ANY garbage. So when will you stop asking me? Just skip me how about? Cuz you know, it's not just me that feels this way...you might want to skip the others as well.

5) Speaking of cleaning people....this is the first place I've worked where the cleaning people get up in all your business while you are working. Any other place, they came in before work, after work or on the weekend. Perhaps we should implement this? Or perhaps not.....since change isn't something we strive for around here.

6) You seem to clean the bathroom twice a day. But why is it that the garbage can overflows on a regular basis and it seems to be impossible to keep the paper towels and toilet paper in stock? What is the dealio with that?

7) How did you enjoy your morning meeting outside the bathroom this morning? Would you like me to bring you tea and biscuits next time? Because for some reason, while I'm taking a shit, this appears to be the bestest place ever to converse, hang out, take a break.

Anyhow, these are the main things that have been bothering for about 2 years now. I've finally had the guts to tell you. Or frankly, I think I finally just had it. Or maybe I just needed something to blog about. Well, really it doesn't matter. Just help a sistah out, and fix the shit that's broke.

We good? Yeah? Cool.

Over and out then.

Thanks,
Mexico Guey


cc Shitty Cleaning People's Boss