Bitchlog #20649

Like I said in previous blogs, I am beginning to think that all these blogs are for is bitching about crap. GYNORMOUS CRAP. I mean I'm not a gushy girl so I'm not going to run to my blog and be like, "OH MY GOD, like oh my god!!! I'm so happy happy happy!!!! Someone said I looked pretty today and that I lost a gynormous amount of weight! Like oh my god!!! I feel so special!"

Can you say barf?

Todays word should be BARF. Ten ways to say barf are (including barf for good measure):

1) Barf
2) Spew
3) Hurl
4) Puke
5) Vomit
6) Toss your cookies
7) Ralph
8) Motion Sickness
9) Up-Chuck
10)Throw Up

I got that from a contest on the radio. My brother and I were both listening and between the two of us we got them before the caller did. Every once in a while we re-do the test. The funny part is that I got stuck on the last one which is quite obvious and should have been the first...but you know. "Ralph, Spew and Barf" take precedent over normal words like "vomit" and "throw up".

So yeah I meant to start bitching but somehow got sidetracked. Funny how that happens. But its called a flow of conversation. Unlike men who are basically confined to conversation in chunks. Money, job, women, sex, tits, money, cars, other men, money, motorcycles, ass, money, work, hot chicks, "oh man i remember this one night when i got so hammered and...". You see where I'm getting at? I mean you wouldn't normally know this, but when guys get together...thats how it goes. I'm not shittin you.

So anyways. Back to Bitchlogging.

So you ever have one of those days (I've had more than one in case you haven't noticed already), where your in a shit mood and really don't want to deal with any crap. But instead of just staying put, cuz that would be way too boring, you go to Wal Mart to shop. Like THAT would be a stressfree experience but if people would just leave you alone and be a little tiny bit considerate it would make life much better. Here are some of my annoyances:

1) Your cart is sitting in the middle of the fucking isle. You see me coming. You walk away from the cart. The best is when you take a break in the middle of the isle to breastfeed or have a family meeting and refuse to get out of the way.

2) You see me coming down the right side of the isle. It is quite clear that you are on the wrong fucking side, but yet, you don't move. ( I was told that by making someone else move you are showing that you are superior to them.) One day i had a show down and actually threw my hands up and said "QUE?" and then crossed them as if to show I wasn't going nowhere ESPECIALLY since YOU don't have a freaking cart full of shit that you are pushing around! Well I SURE SHOWED HER? (I mean seriously, it was just retarded and I was subject to retardation but I felt better for it as that was also a bad day, and I now have a story to tell!)

3) I leave my cart because it sucks to push it every where (Refer to points 1 and 2). I come back to my cart. And its gone! GONE. People steal carts!

4) Someone takes something out of your cart, and puts it into theirs.

5) Someone puts something that you don't want into your cart.

6) Someone is standing right in front of where you want to look, they aren't even looking in that area. They SEE you trying to squirm your way in and they still don't move. You say "EXCUSE ME" and they STILL don't move. I mean WTF?

7) You are standing in line and someone completely ignores you and cuts the line. NO ONE ELSE says shit to them but when you do, they act like they had NO IDEA. Yeah right. Kiss my ass how about? And then the other people are like, hey! Yeah! Jesus. Do you not know how to speak up on your own?

8) Personal space. When I'm standing in line, or ANYWHERE for that matter, do not stand so close to me that if I move 1cm, I touch you. Also, don't stand so close to me that you ARE touching me. And without concern I might add. Don't stand so close that I can smell your bad breath. Don't stand so close that I can hear the conversation (both ways) that you are having on your cell phone. Not to mention, the people ten isles down can here it.

9) Please don't ram your cart into my ass. It's big, and very noticeable, so don't pretend you don't see it.

10) Don't inspect my cart like it's something to shop from. Mind your business.

11) Don't get cute with me. I'm not your friend, I don't want to "chit-chat", it's none of your business what kind of cat or dog I have. Don't ask me if I like vegetables and most CERTAINLY stop undressing me with your eyes and following me around like a sick puppy.

12) If you think lines at the farmacia exist, forget it. BUDGE BUDGE BUDGE your way otherwise you will get pushed all the way out the front door.

13) Don't expect to find your favorite anything to be there all the time. It's a joke. Sometimes it's there.....and sometimes it's just not. I don't get why they just can't keep shit in stock?

14) I didn't have time to go to the club this week, but never-fear. There are chicks in ugly skimpy outfits and men with microphones jumping around to "hip" tunes that are blasting throughout the market. Walk by and you may have time to dance, get a number or try a sample of a salchicha.

15) Please dont put the acid in the same bag as my poultry. And please don't use one bag per item.

16) I totally also love it how there is no room in the isle you want to pass through, but lets just put in more crap that you can't manouever around. Which of course forces you to leave your cart behind which can result in numbers 3, 4, 5 and 10.

I have come to the conclusion that I can just go on and on and on about this! Oh my! Don't you have all day!

I have really wanted to post "Road Rules" but haven't gotten around to it. Maybe another day as I'm sure you are loving my lists.

I suppose my blog could be tied in with that JJ's blog called "What happened to Kindness?". But maybe mine is more a, consideration thing. "Whatever happened to people being fucking CONSIDERATE?".