Your Directions Suck!

I grew up in Vancouver. Never really ventured out except to go to Burnaby (next city beside Vancouver) or Richmond (another city beside Vancouver). You don't have to go on any major highways to get to either of these cities and as I result, I never really went on highways, nor did I drive. If I did go on them to go to martial arts tournaments, my boyfriend or mom would drive and I never cared to pay attention to how we got to and from there.

So as a result, highways freak me the hell out. Well, actually, highways here freak me out. It's not as simple as the ocean being on one side and the jungle being on the other, and driving in a straight line to get to Puerto Morelos, Playa del Carmen, or even Tulum. All you really have to worry about are people without break lights, speed bumps, and road kill. Ok, well maybe thats not the entire truth. There is a reason why that highway is called "The Highway of Death". But to me, it's something I just understand better and feel more comfortable with.

Since I'm staying with my mom until I move into my own place, I've had to get use to the whole highway thing. She lives a lot farther from where I grew up and if you want to go anywhere, you have to take the highway. This is all fine and dandy if you go to the same place every day. But if you don't, it's a little more complicated than that. I don't understand the highway names or numbers or the exits. They have me all sorts of kerflucked. Cars whiz by and they all seem to know where they are going except me. If you are in the wrong lane or the you take the wrong exit....forget about it!

But my favorite is, the directions I get. When I have to go somewhere new, and have to take a completely new route, I cannot understand the directions for the life of me.

I do know know what street Lougheed is or how to get to it. I do not know if once I find it, if I should go left or right. I do not know if when you tell me to take the #48 exit if that means I should take #48A or #48B exit....because you failed to mention that there were TWO. I do not get that there is highway #1 East, and highway #1 West, and that god forbid I miss correct exit, I will end up in Northern British Columbia. Sure. This may seem simple to you, but your directions suck.

The directions I understand are as follows:

Leave your house, go out the gate, turn right at the security guard booth, go down to almost the end of the street and turn left at the big white house with the palm tree sticking out of its roof. Go down one block past the tienda and turn right. Turn left at the construction site. Go to the first set of lights....and turn left. You are going to drive for a long while and you will pass a starbucks, and then some schools and then when you curve up to the right, stay in the left lane and turn left. Go straight until you pass 8 topes, make a right at the next corner after that, and go straight until you see a bright yellow house. Park across the street in front of the house with the dogs barking and go up the red staircase and knock.

Now THAT is what I call good directions.