Let's Write A Story Together!
I have a friend that I met online years ago. His name is Eric and he's from Oregon. We met (online only...have yet to meet in real life) because he was going to take a vacation to Cancun and was asking questions about coming here. Unfortunately, his friends bailed and he never made it to Cancun but our friendship continued.
One day we were being silly and decided to write a story together. He would write a paragraph, and then I would write a paragraph. Or maybe it was he would write a sentence and then I would write a sentence. WHATEVER the case we still wrote it together.
I just found it in my email and literally laughed out loud several times. It was funny to me anyways....maybe not to you, but I'm going to share it anyways!
Here it is:
WARNING: Some of this may be considered explicit.
I looked down at my feet. My toenails looked ok from afar but I could
tell that maybe I should do something about them. I was looking to get
laid tomorrow night and perhaps the guy I'm planning on meeting has a
foot fetish and would get totally grossed out that my toenails aren't
perfect.
Of course, they haven't been perfect for a long time. I guess it all
started when I was back in 'Nam in the early 70's. I was assigned to a
rouge, black-ops special forces division (Bravo company) just outside of
Laos. Back then, I never had to "look" to get laid, as there was a
"me-love-you-long-time" girl around whenever I needed a quick fix. I
actually became good friends with a Vietnamese bar owner named "Fast
Louie". I'll never forget what he said to me the first time we met.
"Ahhh. You a super-rucky man! You win rottery! Herro? You listen me?
I have perfect girrr fo you. Rooka ova here..."
Oh the days back in 'Nam when I actually knew I was a man. These days
I'm not so sure. When I said that I thought I should do something about
my toenails, I meant that I should re-polish them. Is that ok? Or is
that bad? In all honesty, I think it looks very pretty and if some guy who
has a foot fetish is really interested in feet, he'll want to screw me
no matter what. You listen me? Cuz I want to grow old with you.....I'll
even let you hold the remote control.
But Christ, who am I kidding? I just got done watching The Wedding
Singer for the 400th time and I think it's bring back flash backs. The
only reason I now find myself questioning my own sexuality is due to the
repeated gang rapes I endured in the Canadian POW "death" camps after
our plane was shot down over BC on our way back from Laos. You don't
know pain until someone repeatedly takes your manhood by using a Durian
on you in a variety of creative ways.
But I think I've healed quite a bit since then. I've gone from yelling
"Stella" in the streets to thanking the wa wa wa wa water boy for
bringing that much needed thirst to an end when the stench of Durian was
too hard to handle. I know I said I was fussing about my feet and that
I wasn't too sure of my sexuality. But I know I'm a man (what are you
good for) and I'm (absolutely nothing) a man that fits the bill. Just
like the rest of them. The difference is, I like tea.
Of course "tea" is just my pet name for porn. God I love tea. Come to
think of it, I obsess even more over tea then I do over my god-awful
feet, which are god-awful by the way. I was thinking just the other day
that I should film my own "tea" session. But then it occurred to me
that no one wants to see a "man" with the scars of war and Durianian
humiliation on camera humping some 50 year old biker chick in need of a
breast reduction. Oh the humanity of it all!
That's it. I quit. All this guy ever talks about is sex or war. It's
sick and an insult to my thought provoking writing. But who am I kidding,
I'm the one always bringing up sex because I am such a naughty girl.
God I love Oregonian men......
True Dat!
I don't talk to Eric every day but it's nice to know he's out there and whenever we do chat he tells me he loves me and I tell him how hot and sexy he is.
One day we WILL meet. Because hey, JJ is right there next to him and frankly, Oregon is not too far off from the Van to the Cit to the Y.
Eric is a cool dude. And I really think I should paint his toe nails one day.
One day we were being silly and decided to write a story together. He would write a paragraph, and then I would write a paragraph. Or maybe it was he would write a sentence and then I would write a sentence. WHATEVER the case we still wrote it together.
I just found it in my email and literally laughed out loud several times. It was funny to me anyways....maybe not to you, but I'm going to share it anyways!
Here it is:
WARNING: Some of this may be considered explicit.
I looked down at my feet. My toenails looked ok from afar but I could
tell that maybe I should do something about them. I was looking to get
laid tomorrow night and perhaps the guy I'm planning on meeting has a
foot fetish and would get totally grossed out that my toenails aren't
perfect.
Of course, they haven't been perfect for a long time. I guess it all
started when I was back in 'Nam in the early 70's. I was assigned to a
rouge, black-ops special forces division (Bravo company) just outside of
Laos. Back then, I never had to "look" to get laid, as there was a
"me-love-you-long-time" girl around whenever I needed a quick fix. I
actually became good friends with a Vietnamese bar owner named "Fast
Louie". I'll never forget what he said to me the first time we met.
"Ahhh. You a super-rucky man! You win rottery! Herro? You listen me?
I have perfect girrr fo you. Rooka ova here..."
Oh the days back in 'Nam when I actually knew I was a man. These days
I'm not so sure. When I said that I thought I should do something about
my toenails, I meant that I should re-polish them. Is that ok? Or is
that bad? In all honesty, I think it looks very pretty and if some guy who
has a foot fetish is really interested in feet, he'll want to screw me
no matter what. You listen me? Cuz I want to grow old with you.....I'll
even let you hold the remote control.
But Christ, who am I kidding? I just got done watching The Wedding
Singer for the 400th time and I think it's bring back flash backs. The
only reason I now find myself questioning my own sexuality is due to the
repeated gang rapes I endured in the Canadian POW "death" camps after
our plane was shot down over BC on our way back from Laos. You don't
know pain until someone repeatedly takes your manhood by using a Durian
on you in a variety of creative ways.
But I think I've healed quite a bit since then. I've gone from yelling
"Stella" in the streets to thanking the wa wa wa wa water boy for
bringing that much needed thirst to an end when the stench of Durian was
too hard to handle. I know I said I was fussing about my feet and that
I wasn't too sure of my sexuality. But I know I'm a man (what are you
good for) and I'm (absolutely nothing) a man that fits the bill. Just
like the rest of them. The difference is, I like tea.
Of course "tea" is just my pet name for porn. God I love tea. Come to
think of it, I obsess even more over tea then I do over my god-awful
feet, which are god-awful by the way. I was thinking just the other day
that I should film my own "tea" session. But then it occurred to me
that no one wants to see a "man" with the scars of war and Durianian
humiliation on camera humping some 50 year old biker chick in need of a
breast reduction. Oh the humanity of it all!
That's it. I quit. All this guy ever talks about is sex or war. It's
sick and an insult to my thought provoking writing. But who am I kidding,
I'm the one always bringing up sex because I am such a naughty girl.
God I love Oregonian men......
True Dat!
I don't talk to Eric every day but it's nice to know he's out there and whenever we do chat he tells me he loves me and I tell him how hot and sexy he is.
One day we WILL meet. Because hey, JJ is right there next to him and frankly, Oregon is not too far off from the Van to the Cit to the Y.
Eric is a cool dude. And I really think I should paint his toe nails one day.
posted by My Way @ 11:35 AM
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