Technically Challenged

Yes. I have become one of those. One of those people who are not up to speed with the haps on technological advances. I blame that on the fact that I live in Mexico and things take a while before they get here. I also blame it on my lack of investigating. I'm sure I could learn about all these cool new things that come out if I looked for them. Except that here, they aren't thrown in my face and I'm not brainwashed by them through various forms of advertising.

Anyhow. I've decided I am technically challenged because on a surprisingly boring day at work (I meant that sarcastically of course), I decided to check out the cable packages back home in Vancouver.

What's so wonderful about things today is that you can get internet, t.v. and telephone ALL from the same company. Don't ask me how they do it, they just do.

But I got really messed up in the head. Because I don't even know what the heck they are offering besides t.v., internet and telephone. I don't understand the lingo worth shit.

Lets start with cable. This is what they offer:

-Basic Cable
-Classic Cable
-Digital TV
-Digital TV and Movies
-High Definition

I get the basic cable. I even get the classic cable. Then I get lost. And then I know what's going on with High Definition but only because of the commercials I get via my US satellite t.v. I also know that if you want HD TV, you need a special HD TV. A special t.v.???? WTF for? And Digital TV? You mean basic cable is like so yesterday???? And why with Digital TV do you get more channels? Huuuu whaaa?

Here's what you get for internet:

-High Speed Lite
-High Speed
-Xtreme-I
-Nitro

I'm just going to use my brain here and guess that High Speed Lite is the slowest and Nitro is like super super fast lighting super special. But what up with the names??? Now we have new names as well???

Here's your choice for phone service:

-Digital Phone Lite
-Digital Phone

Ok what??? First off, what the heck is a Digital Phone and what's wrong with a friggin land line? Is it different or does it have super digital powers?? Second, why the heck are there two different types? Do they have different speeds like internet? Is there like a delay in the phone line if you choose Digital Phone Lite? Is there even a "line"?

Not to mention, once you choose your fancy package, there are more choices you have to make within the package because you know there are options just waiting to confuse you even more.

I think I'll go answer a phone call on my land line, send a text on my Telcel, and finish writing this blog on my high-speed internet. At least I understand it.......HD Lite TV Digital Phone Nitro who the whatsas! You've done confused me and made me feel all stooopid!